Why the blog? I'm not a very private person. My life is pretty much an open book, my feelings and opinions line the pages. I love blogs because I feel I get to know people for who they really are, not who I perceive them to be. I fall in love with people that I probably would never really get to know through what they reveal in their writings. I find myself praying for people through trials and rejoicing during celebrations, and had it not been for their journaling, I may have never lifted them up to God.
I will try not to be too personal but be real. There may only be a few reading this, but if even one person is praying over us, we will feel it! When my mom was extremely sick last summer, we did a CaringBridge page and I remember over and over the number of people telling me they were praying. People I barely knew, but it encouraged me every day and caused my faith to grow stronger. We are brothers and sisters in Christ, sharing the load of this life!
It's been a week since the initial decision to adopt took hold of us. We were so excited! It was excrutiating to hold it in for 3 days to tell our families (we did "slip" to a few people). We were going to wait a few more days to make it public, but I just couldn't wait! :) We were just so filled with joy and love for this new child who would be joining our family.
Then the fear and doubt settled in. I'd been told adoption was an emotional roller coaster, but seriously, it had only been a week. I thought I could hold it together a little longer than that. Nick and I were so confident that after praying for a year and very intensely for the last three months, that this was the answer He had for us. So why did little thoughts like, "Does this really make sense right now?" or "Do you really think God is moving you in this direction?" I could literally hear the words of doubt run through my mind. And then I began to fear.
Amidst the fear, the Lord laid James 1:2-8 on my heart, and it put into perspective our last year leading up to this point. "Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."
Note to self: This is what God wants us to do. Never doubt again.
*In adoption news, we are in one of many waiting periods. We have decided to adopt a little girl (at the request of both Owen and Amra) who is between the age of 1 and 2 years. We won't get a referral for about 6-7 months, but we are already praying hard over their sweet, new little baby sister.
A cute little side note, when we broke the news to the kids last week, Owen said, "Finally! I've been waiting all these years!" I guess that's what happens when you pray about adoption for six years!
Please be praying for:
*Our little girl who may or may not already be born. Pray for good health and safety.
*Our paperwork and home studies can be done quickly, and we can finance every piece as it comes along.
*Our friends Greg and Dawn who are also going through the adoption process and currently waiting for the referral of their little boy!
*Our friends Jenny and Phil, who just received the referral of their little girl in China. She was born prematurely and is tiny, but strong and healthy!
Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. God knows that I need all the cheerleaders I can get :)