Saturday I posted a blog directing you to a link announcing the issues in Ethiopia regarding adoptions. I'm not going to candy coat how this affected me.
I was defeated. I've been pushing forward because I was ready for something good to happen finally. But then we got the news.
Now being the pessimist that I am, I immediately turned this into the "end of the world." I threw my hands in the air and said, "I guess its time to give up, they are just going to end up closing down the country."
I was angry and confused and ready to throw in the towel. Then I began questioning, "God I thought this was what YOU wanted us to do." "Why does everything have to be so hard?" (hear the whine?) "Why do I keep getting the rug pulled out from under me?"
"I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
There may have been a few underlying issues that contributed to my momentary insanity, but God decided that maybe I had had a bit much lately. In His mercy, He decided to kindly, calmly remind me that HE is still standing right here beside Nick and I as we journey to bring home our little girl.
We got the original e-mail Friday night right before bed...bad timing. I literally lay awake all night thinking about what this meant not only for us, but for our little girl waiting for us, and for the millions of other orphans in Ethiopia waiting for a family to call their own. Saturday morning brought alot of tears and emotions and sleepless pity parties. It was a wonderful day in the neighborhood on our street!
By noon, I was wiped clean of all energy. I went to the mailbox and found an envelope from DCFS. It was our Foster Care License...we'd been approved!!! In case you don't know how this arduous process works, you have to have a Home Study and 10 Hours of training with a state social worker before you can be approved for adoption. Along with this you will receive a foster care license...so no, at this point we are not pursuing foster care but are licensed :)
I felt like God was saying..."remember timing is everything." It felt like reassurance that even though each step is tiny, we are moving forward and should continue to do so. The peace that overflowed through my body was welcomed and I took a peaceful two hour nap!
Sunday...more reassurance from above. An unexpected gift of $500 from some of the most generous people I know. I have seen these people scrape from the bottom of their piggy banks to help someone who may otherwise be overlooked. They are the most genuine, loving, compassionate people I have ever met and to be a recipient of their generosity is humbling beyond words. They received a gift from someone in the past and it was no longer of any use to them, so they sold it. Instead of keeping the money to buy something new and exciting (like I would do), they "regifted" the money to someone else who they felt was "working the fields", as well.
Ok God, we will move forward in faith.
Monday...the reassurance is pouring over the top! An e-mail from ICARE, Intl., the orphan care/grant organization that handles our donations so they become tax deductible, is in my inbox. Another extremely generous gift of $500 has shown up in our account. What?!?!? $1,000 in two days?!?!? And to top it off, the givers of this particular gift let us know that there is actually more coming, that was just a first gift!
Seriously, God is good!
To top the whole week off, we met for the final time for our home study! We have completed that step, been approved, and now waiting for our fingerprint "invitation." I'm so giddy I can hardly contain myself!
Our friends, Dawn and Greg, just left on Tuesday for Ethiopia to meet their precious, new son. I am anxiously awaiting updates, pictures, stories...everything! I am ecstatic for them, and I can't wait until one day we are sitting around sharing our adoption stories. And that day isn't far! Please pray for Dawn and Greg as they embark on this new chapter in their lives, their children as they transition to becoming a family of 6, and for safe travels here and abroad.
There is one song that has been a motto for me throughout every trial Nick and I have faced. It's lyrics echo loud what I yearn to say everyday. Through every tear stained, pitiful temper tantrum, I long to whisper these words over and over...
"YOU give and take away. YOU give and take away. My heart will choose to say. Lord, blessed be your name."