"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging...Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:1-3, 10
I see the world through a new set of eyes.
I am "relearning" how to live. There has been a paradigm shift in the way my life runs. I no longer wake up and call my mom to tell her who got up in the night, discuss American Idol, or complain about the rushed morning I had. I no longer end my day at the hospital visiting for hours and spending precious moments with my parents.
It's a new routine and a new set of rules.
I'm finding the void is impossible to fill, but God's grace is sufficient. He has sent comfort in the form of new friends and renewed relationships. That void will never be filled but it helps dull the pain.
I've seen the vapor that this life is...how it can be snuffed out in an instant. And I feel the urgency of sharing the gospel of my Christ with those around me. There is a harvest of unbelievers hungering for the Word of God, and they don't even know it yet.
There is a stirring in my soul and a desire for people to know the love, peace, and hope that I have.
I can feel joy bubbling in my heart again, and I know that HE is good. HIS promises are true, and HE has never given more than I could bear.
I know my strength. I know what I can handle. And I know that HE is with me.
HE has big plans for me, Nick, and my kids. We are moving forward, and my heart begins to overflow with excitement.
We are waiting. Waiting to put a face to a name. Waiting to enter another world, meet another life, and bring her into our home to fill a missing puzzle piece of the children intended to be in our family.
"Oh my God, He will not delay. My refuge and strength, always. I will not fear, His promise is true, My God will come through always. Always."